Thoughts From The Middle of Nowhere

Category: Humour

  • An Answer

    I've always wondered how Daylight Savings Time saved energy. It never made sense to me. Know I see the answer.<br />n<br />n<a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/54363?utm_source=onion_rss_daily" >Daylight Saving Time Yields Massive Daylight Surplus</a><br />n<br />n<blockquote>Energy Secretary Samuel W. Bodman announced Monday that the country's seven-month-long effort to conserve sunshine has resulted in the largest national daylight surplus since…

  • DUH!!!

    This one goes in the No Shit Sherlock file.<br />n<br />n<a href="http://www.kxmc.com/getArticle.asp?ArticleId=58719">Cattle market affecting ranchers</a><br />n<br />nNow who would have every guessed that the cattle market affects ranchers. This is like flash news. Us dumb ranchers just be tooo stopid to know this obviously. I'm happy for the update.<br />n<br />n<strong>It's obvious, but perhaps worth…

  • The Food Chain

    Recently, a large corporation hired several cannibals to increase their diversity,<br />n <br />n"You are all part of our team now," said the Human Resources rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any employees."<br />n <br…

  • Laugh

    I got this in e-mail the other day and found it very humourous. Hope you do to.<br />n<br />nWhy it is good to be a man?<br />n<br />n1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.<br />n2. Your orgasms are real. Always.<br />n3. Your last name stays put..<br />n4. The garage is all…

  • Be Afraid

    I've always jokingly told My Darling Wife the only way she is going to git rid of me is to shoot me. HA, ha, ha, that is until I saw this today.<br />n<br />n<a href="http://www.billingsgazette.net/articles/2006/08/25/news/state/65-admit.txt" title="Be Afraid">Woman admits to killing husband</a><br />n<br />n<blockquote>A woman who said her husband told her during a drunken argument that…

  • A Good Laugh

    <em>Q: How do you make holy water?<br />n<br />nA: Put it on the stove and boil the hell out of it.</em><br />n<br />nThanks to <a href="http://ozguru.mu.nu/archives/2006/08/holy_water_1.html">Ozguru</a> for this one.<br />n<br />nI laughed at this one till I hurt for some reason. Then I saw this next one and really had a good roll on the…

  • Half-Wit

    A man owned a small ranch in Idaho. The Idaho Wage &amp; Hour Dept claimed he<br />nwas not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview<br />nhim.<br />n<br />n"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the<br />nagent.<br />n<br />n"Well" replied the rancher, "There's…

  • Politics Explained

    A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What are Politics?"<br />n<br />nDad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:<br />n<br />n1. I'm the head of the family, so call me President.<br />n<br />n2. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so call her the<br />nGovernment.<br />n<br />n3. We're…

  • Bull

    Shamelessly stolen from <a href="http://www.sfolife.net/?p=1771">Randy</a>.<br />n<br />nA man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the exhibits was breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, “This bull mated 50 times last year.”<br />n<br />nThe wife poked her husband in the ribs and said, “He…

  • Misunderstood

    <b>Actual excepts from Church Newsletters…</b><br />n<br />nDon't let worry kill you – let the church help.<br />n<br />nScouts are saving Aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.<br />n<br />nUshers will eat latecomers.<br />n<br />nLadies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get…